Thursday, March 20, 2014


Arty the Hedgehog, Crime-fighter Extraordinaire, Beats up Bane and Puts Batman and Superman Out of Work!

Arty the Hedgehog came to the rescue early Thursday evening by foiling a plot by the evil villain Bane to attack the living room of a fun-loving family. The family was home but completely unaware of the danger that lurked in the middle of their floor. Assuming that the tiny villain was merely left there to sleep by the family three-year-old, they had simply stepped around the action figure unaware that he was only playing possum while waiting for the opportune time to carry out his plan of terror.

The plot was discovered by Arty the Hedgehog while he was out in the living room exploring. As hedgehogs have large ears and an excellent sense of hearing, it is assumed that he heard the action figure mumbling about how long it was taking for the family to fall into his trap. With Superman napping in another location on the living room floor completely unaware of the impending doom, and Batman nowhere to be found, Arty sprung into action as best as a hedgehog can spring and attacked Bane by biting his leg a couple times and slamming him to the ground rendering Bane useless and putting and end to threat.

Although none of this information can be confirmed because Hedgehogs can't speak and only make "pftshhhh pftshhhh" sounds, it was quite obvious to his loving, adoring, and grateful family that this is indeed what happened and that they were saved by this tiny and brave creature. They are forever in his debt.

Bane has been transferred to the toy box where he was interrogated by the Marine Corps action figure who was faithfully executing his post behind enemy lines protecting the play area from the Joker's plot of household tyranny when Bane was taken down.

"I just can't be two places at once," the Marine Corps action figure said saying that he was proud to have Arty as an ally. "I look forward to working with him in the future."

While Arty the Hedgehog and the Marine Action Figure are playing down the day's events saying that it's just who they are and what they do, both are expected to receive commendations for their actions. Bane is expected to receive therapy to help him deal with his horrific childhood growing up in the underground prison, Pena Duro.

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I have said these things unto you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.
~John 16:33