Monday, November 10, 2008

Going Through the Fire

It's been a while since I've blogged. I've thought of many things to write...while driving around in the car. I never seem to have the desire to put it all down once I get home.

I wrote about cast iron skillets a while back. I mentioned how part of the process in seasoning a good skillet is the heating of it. The heat purges it, cleanses it. Makes it ready for use.

Does it make me a bad Christian to say, "Lord, I'm tired"? I am so tired. I find myself getting to the point of feeling as little as possible. I want to just sleep all the time. In my heart I am willing to go on. It's just that the rest of me is done. Mentally I'm exhausted beyond explaination. Physically I'm ready to drop. I no longer enjoy doing the things I use to do, like feeding my chickens and collecting the eggs. Now I have to force myself to do it.

I've heard two sides to the arguement of depression and Christians. There are those who believe that if you're a Christian and depressed that you lack faith in God. Then there are those who say that being human, with all its emmotions, can include depression at times. I know I have faith. I know I trust God. I know that He has handled all of this for me and my family already.

But I can't pray about the situation anymore. I'm just done begging God to bring this to an end. It's been a long three years.

Matthew 11:28 says, "Come unto me all who are weary and burdened, I shall give you rest." But as I sit here fighting the tears that are burning in my eyes, someone PLEASE tell me when this rest will come.

I have said these things unto you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.
~John 16:33